The Goddess of the River Yamuna stared in disbelief at Shiva. He was not just distraught but seemed to be carrying the burden of something so deep and heavy inside him that he wasn’t himself. It’s as if his soul was separated from his body, which was now lost and aimlessly going around the world searching for the lost soul. 

Yamuna and Shiva Have a Talk

She calls out to him, “Shiva, what is happening?”

He turned, startled to hear his name, that too, from the voice of a woman. Thinking it was his beloved Sati, he turned towards the voice. “Sati, is that you? Have you returned to me?”

Yamuna’s heart went out to Shiva. “No, Kailashnath. I am not Sati. And deep in your heart, you know she’s not going to come back, not like you knew her at least.”

“Aah! So you heard too. The fiasco at Prajapati Daksha’s yajna? Why did she have to go? I tried so hard to dissuade her. But I think I didn’t do enough. And even if she was angry, why did she have to immolate herself? All she had to do was return to me. And all would have been fine?”

“But her rage against her father was justified. How dare he not invite you? And not offer you your rightful ablutions at the Yajna. He knows you are one of the Divine Trinities? Not to mention, you were his son-in-law,” responded Yamuna.

“So, you know the whole story,” whimpered Shiva, disgust, anger, and grief, all creating a confusing and excited state in his mind.

“The entire cosmos knows everything that happened at Daksha’s place. He had no right to insult you. And Sati had every right to defend your dignity.”

“Oh! I wish everyone would stop talking about my dignity. I don’t care that I wasn’t invited. I don’t care that I was insulted. Then and now. I just want my Sati back, Yamuna. I just want her back. Why did she have to immolate herself?” Shiva kept repeating this question to no one in particular. He was clearly ranting. He seemed to have lost his mind. 

“And anyway,” he continued, in a moment of sudden clarity. “I have taken my revenge on Daksha. I involved my angry self through Veerabhadra, and he and his followers wreaked havoc in the Yajna, even cutting off Daksha’s head. If it weren’t for Brahma and Vishnu, I would never have revived my father-in-law with the head of a goat. And yet, my grief is not satiated. I just want Sati back. I just want her back, back, back.” The pitiful rantings returned.  

Yamuna Embraces Shiva’s Emotions

“C’mon, Shiva. Get a grip on yourself. You are no ordinary being. You are one of the Divine Trinities. You are the Destroyer. Can’t you find the strength to destroy the grief and move on? You cannot let yourself fall into an abyss of excitable emotions like this.”

“I am the all-powerful destroyer only when Sati is with me. Together, we are one formidable force. Without her, I am nothing, nothing more than a soulless body, seeking to unite with her again.”

Yamuna’s heart lurched at the sound of such deep, divine love. She realised the truth behind the concept of Ardhanaareshwar-there is no Shiva without Shakti, and there is no Shakti without Shiva.

“And now that crazy love God, Kamadeva, has struck some kind of excitable arrow at me. So, added to the intolerable pain of heartbreak, my blood is boiling with the insatiable power of inexplicable excitement. My head is in a whirl, and I don’t know what I am doing. My friends, in the name of helping me, won’t let me grieve in peace. I just want to be left alone, alone forever, until I am one with Sati again.” Shiva’s laments struck a deep wound in Yamuna’s heart.

She offered to help him. She said, “Get into my waters, Shiva. Take a dip in it. Immerse your entire body. Let go of all your negative emotions. Let go of your anger, excitement, grief, and everything else that is holding you in its power. I will embrace it. Find your peace here, and move on freely so you can search for your Sati and reunite with her.”

Happy for some help, Shiva stepped into the waters of the Yamuna. He immersed himself fully underwater. As he breathed in and out, his grief, unwanted excitement brought on by Kamadeva’s arrow, anger, and everything burdensome left his body and merged into Yamuna’s waters. So intense were Shiva’s emotions that the clear water of the Yamuna became black. And Yamuna became Kalindi.

She didn’t resist it. She embraced what Shiva gave so he could be free. She embraced the blackness, knowing that when she merged with Sagar, her identity would be lost anyway. 

Author’s Note:

The story of Shiva dunking himself in the Yamuna and ridding himself of all the grief and other emotions, making the water black (and hence the name Kalinid), appears in Vamana Purana. The conversation between Yamuna and Shiva is from my imagination.

This post is a part of BlogchatterA2Z Challenge 2026

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